There is no Try — Life Application of Yoda’s Teachings

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“Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda

So many times in life, we are presented with opportunities to improve our lives, whether it be through a job or in a business. So we decide to give it a try. I have been doing this over the last few months at Nav Canada. I was offered a job there at the Flight Information Centre, having left the company 6 years ago. It is such an excellent opportunity! I’ve been training to give pilot weather briefings (customized weather forecasts just for pilots) since the end of January — that’s why I haven’t been blogging at all! It’s been taking up all my time!

They’ve been teaching us a ton of weather theory, all about high and low pressure systems, what causes them to form, develop and dissipate. We’ve learned everything there is to know about warm and cold fronts, how to see when they begin and pick them out on upper air charts. Precipitation, cloud types, tornadoes and hurricanes. Freezing rain, vorticity, and a whole chapter on fog. It’s ridiculous how much I know about the jet stream now! And I can interpret satellite imagery, radar signals, and read a GFA like a boss.

As you might have guessed, I did pretty well at the theory and classwork. We wrote 7 tests and I think my lowest mark was 89%. In the process, I have completely drained the ink out of 2 pens (I’m working on the 3rd), filled two 3″ binders with hand-written notes, and have an impressive stack of cue cards with key points on them.

The practical part has been much more of a challenge. We have a lab with all the computers and graphic feeds that we need to give these customized weather forecasts. We go back and forth between 3 different screens to look at all the satellite views, actual weather reports and aviation forecasts. It’s a challenge to correlate all the info and the theory and then know how much to actually SAY to the pilot. What does he/she need to know? How much is too much info? How do I describe what I’m seeing over the phone so that it makes sense? It was very difficult to put the info into a logical order and string it together so that is sounds good.

And I’m a talker! I don’t usually have any sort of trouble communicating! One day, it all clicked and I was able to describe things well and get it all out. Then my instructors all started saying I need to say less. “Too much detail. You’ll confuse the pilot.” So, I’d say less. Sometimes, there were great pauses, as I tried to conjure the best, most concise way to say what I needed to say. Then, during a pause, they’d prompt me, “talk about the radar.” “Jesus H Christ, that’s what I’m about to do!” I would think, but I never said it. All of us trainees were awkward and making lots of mistakes, and our instructors would interrupt us. They were trying to help, or stop us from making mistakes, but it was so frustrating. Many times, I felt like saying, “just let me do it. Let me make the mistakes, notice them and fix them. Yes, typos will happen. Just never mind them!” But I didn’t say anything, and soon I started having nightmares about not being heard, yelling and no one listening. It was bad. I found out that my fellow students were having similar experiences, and one of them kinda blew up one day; after that, there was less interrupting.

After one lab run with the worst interrupting instructor, I finally had the clarity to tell him this: “When you interrupt or try to help, I feel like you don’t think I can do it. And that makes it really hard to actually do it.” I think he understood that, and that was the core of the problem. I was frustrated because I felt like he was just sitting there, feeling I was hopeless, wishing he was home (or anywhere else!) because I was so bad. But after I said that, he stopped almost all his interrupting and he was more encouraging.

So now we are in evals (evaluations). The mid-term eval was one 8-hour day, and in the 2 lab runs leading up to it, I was very stressed. All I could do was joke that I was getting all my nerves out ahead of time so that I’d do better on the eval. I have only been that nervous a few times in my life, and it was so hard on me. I decided that mistakes be damned, I just HAD to lighten up about it or it was going to kill me. I just can’t live with that level of stress for days on end.

And I passed! So the course continued and we learned more in-depth theory, like why the worst turbulence is on the left side of the jet stream. And it was all good! But now it’s time for the final eval.

It is three days long! Three 8-hour days of giving weather briefings, taking flight plans, processing NOTAMS, and generally having every word I say written down and scrutinized. I’ve done 2 of those days and have 1 more to go and I am just bursting to write about my experience.

On Monday, we had a practice run. As before, I was pretty nervous and didn’t do very well. Tuesday went quite a bit better, and I was feeling pretty confident on Wednesday, day 1 of the eval. As it went along, I was able to keep my nerves in check, and tried my absolute best to do my job diligently, carefully and not make mistakes. Tried very hard. As I went, once in a while I would realize I had made a small mistake, and I think I even knew I had made one bigger one, but at the end I was feeling pretty good. My instructor came over and gave me a quick overview of how I’d done — and I couldn’t believe how many mistakes I had made. All kinds of dumb ones! That I hadn’t even realized I had made! Lots. Too many. Way too many. I still passed overall, but barely.

Well, shit. All that careful work. I thought I had done so well! I was really rattled. It took me a while to process that on Wednesday night so that I could eventually get to sleep.

Yesterday came and I told myself, “it’s a new day! I won’t make those mistakes again.” I went in early, as I always do, and reviewed all the charts and weather info. I got it pretty solidly in my head and felt very ready, again! Almost too ready. I was there an hour and a half early, so by the time we started, I was pumped. And so I rushed in on the first one without considering all the info and made a really big mistake on the very first call! And I realized it a few minutes later! Crap. And then the strangest thing happened.

I instantly took on a “f*ck it” attitude. “Screw it. If I’m ridiculously careful, I make mistakes I don’t even know I’m making. If I act more confident, I screw that up too! F*ck f*ck f*ck.”

It was very strange. A part of me was still detached enough to see what was going on and that the f*ck it train of thought was too far on the other side of the pendulum and would prove self-destructive. Somehow, I don’t even really know how, I was able to talk myself down and get back into a more balanced headspace in order to do the job. And I did pretty well at the end of the day. I still made some mistakes, but other than that really big one at the beginning, I did better than on Wednesday.

And today is Friday, day 3. I’ve been struggling with getting in the right headspace for the practical side of the job for weeks. But I think I’ve got it. I’ve had 2 big realizations:

– I have to channel the inner weather briefer in me! I have the training! I know how to do it.
– So just do it. Stop trying and just do it.

That’s it. That’s my deep wisdom. Do or do not. There is no try. Trying just makes for a dualistic mindset/vibe. It introduces the possibility of not being successful. Learn, practice, do. That’s it! (Hey, I could write a book, like Liz Gilbert’s “Eat Pray Love” and call it “Learn Practice Do.” πŸ™‚

As a side note, I started this blog to report on my training progress with Nav Canada the first time! Some of those old posts are fun reading! πŸ™‚

Attitude is Everything!

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The undefeated Canadian Women's Curling team! Masters of their mental state.
The undefeated Canadian Women’s Curling team! Masters of their mental state.
With the glow of the Sochi Olympics fading, we recall the highlights, the winners, the exultant moments! There are too many to list, but I’m sure you have a few of your favourites in mind. I watched my share of it, which is saying a lot, since I don’t usually watch TV.

You know what struck me the most, as it does every time I watch the Olympics? The incredible composure some of those athletes have. Sure, they are in their prime physically, but I daresay, they are also masters of their mental state as well.

Speaking of masters of their mental state — and inspiring overachievers — I’m reading Col. Chris Hadfield’s book An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth. I haven’t finished it yet, so don’t tell me how it ends, okay? Here’s an interesting part about attitude.

In spaceflight, “attitude” refers to orientation: which direction your vehicle is pointing relative to the Sun, Earth and other spacecraft. If you lose control of your attitude, two things happen: the vehicle starts to tumble and spin, disorienting everyone on board, and it also strays from its course, which, if you’re short on time or fuel, could mean the difference between life and death…
In my experience, something similar is true on earth. Ultimately, I don’t determine whether I arrive at the desired professional destination. Too many variables are out of my control. There’s really just one thing I can control: my attitude during the journey, which is what keeps me feeling steady and stable, and what keeps me headed in the right direction. So I consciously monitor and correct, if necessary, because losing attitude would be far worse than not achieving my goal. – Col. Chris Hadfield

So, it follows that if I keep a watch on my attitude, I will not tumble out of control, feel disoriented, or stray from my course. I will be on track, feel like I am making progress, and have more overall contentment and lightheartedness. As Chris says, it is more important to maintain attitude than achieve a goal.

A lot of goal-setting, performance-oriented, time-management, efficiency-optimization shtick came out of the late 80’s and 1990’s. This was the heyday of books like How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. I’m not saying those aren’t good books, but I feel like the collective personal development mindset focused on achieving goals and nothing was said about attitude. And yet your attitude is the key! You can be happy even when you haven’t met all your goals, and you can look at life as an adventure rather than an obstacle course to conquer.

So let’s start a new wave where attitude is everything! I often lay in bed for a few minutes before getting up, just to check my attitude. I would rather go about my day cheerful and grateful, wouldn’t you? The world needs less grumpy people! As Chris Hadfield says, “losing attitude is far worse than not achieving my goal.” Would the world stop spinning if we all just tossed our goals out a window — or put them on the back burner — and started enjoying life? I think not. πŸ™‚

less grumpy people

Hadfield-An Astronaut's Guide

Related Posts:
The Solitaire Experiment
The Best Way to Help Someone
Lies We Believe

Am I Part of the Problem, Part 2

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Normally, I get along really well with those around me. Throughout my life, I have learned how to communicate with different kinds of people, although I have to admit, it comes pretty naturally. Even from a young age, my family would call me the peacemaker — because I was always liaising between my two sisters, because I could naturally see both sides and communicate to both. My dad once told me that he thought it was neat how I could talk to anyone about anything. πŸ™‚

Lately, though, I’ve had occasion to not see eye-to-eye with one man who comes in to my workplace periodically. I’m not the only one to not get along with this fella — he has a chip on his shoulder, that’s for sure. I’ve caught myself thinking about the next time I have to interact with him. What will he say? What will I say?

Last time, I had to strongly defend a friend of mine whom he started to put down. That’s not something I have to do very often. It was a slightly heart-pounding experience; it was a conflict-creating move for someone whose nature is much more about conflict-avoidance. Although I learned to deal with conflict in my first marriage, it still makes my heart thump a little harder.

So what’s the deal with this guy? Why is he so obstinate? I was thinking that in our next conversation, perhaps I should try to be more understanding, try to see his side. And then I recalled something he said that really struck me. He said “people are always keeping information from me, so that I can’t do my job properly.” At the time, I proceeded to tell him more about how his job interfaces with mine, explaining things that might have been “kept from him.” Later I thought, buddy, it’s your responsibility to find out whatever you need to in order to do your job. In future conversations, perhaps I could try and explain that if he could do away with that victim-stance, and the chip on his shoulder, he’d do better. His air is so confrontational, perhaps he could try a co-operative mode instead.

But I don’t think he can do it. It’s too far from his modus-operandi. It’s too big a stretch. I don’t think he knows how to co-operate. I honestly don’t think he’s learned how to work co-operatively with others… which is too bad, because the pattern for his life isn’t likely to change otherwise.

Of course, I always like to turn the tables, look in the mirror and see how this applies to me. Is there something that I don’t know how to do, which affects the direction my life is taking? Is there something that I would benefit from learning?

Hmmm… does accounting count? That’s certainly not one of my strengths! But hot damn, I’ve been learning! πŸ™‚ How about you? If you could step outside yourself, what advice would you give yourself? What might another person — a wise, helpful person — suggest you try doing?

I also have to ask myself, am I part of the problem? Wouldn’t this man’s experience be different without me here? Kind of turns it upside down doesn’t it? He and I wouldn’t be having this conflict-filled experience if I weren’t here, or if I were different… So, I must have some conflict in me, which isn’t a bad thing or a mortal flaw. I simply must have been sending out some fightin’ vibes the day he talked bad about my friend. I haven’t had any run-ins since then, which I take as evidence that I’m feeling better about life now!

As usual, I just enjoy giving you some things to think about! πŸ™‚

Related Posts:

Am I Part of the Problem?
How not to be a Bitch
It Takes One to Know One

The Best Way to Help Someone

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In the past two months, a couple of friends of mine have been going through some serious sh*t. Now, I have helped people before, but that was before I really learned about the science of mind and the law of attraction. I used to be a Victim Advocate, working at the local Victim Support Unit, and I helped all kinds of people there. But I think I have finally figured out the best way to help someone, so I thought I’d share it with all of you.

We are all called on to help our family and friends at times. Sometimes, it is during times of great stress, like a sudden illness or pain so severe an ambulance must be called. Sometimes, it is helping after the loss of a loved one, or it could be after a medical diagnosis or job/financial stress. Whatever it is, the #1 best thing you can do is hold the high watch.

What does it mean to “hold the high watch?” It means that as you help, you hold in your mind, as clearly as possible, an image of the person you are helping at their absolute best. Whenever you have a spare minute, you conjure up in your imagination or recall a time when that person was lively, fun, full of life, perfectly healthy and joyful. It is best to make that a really long list — go on and on in your mind about how amazing that person is, and get really specific about everything you appreciate about him or her.

For one friend of mine, I kept the image of how energetic, full of energy and life, adventure-loving, carefree, perky, outgoing, entrepreneurial and talkative she is. For another friend, I focused on how healthy, vibrant, smart, and energetic she is. If you can really engage your imagination and sort of do a rant of awesomeness (or as Abraham-Hicks would say “milk it”), then you are really helping someone. Whatever actions you do will be amplified and perfectly guided. If you take no action at all other than imagine the amazingness of that person, you have helped immensely.

So you see, you can run yourself ragged trying to help your friend, but if you see her as needing your help — which she doesn’t — or see her as broken or flawed, then you are not helping to mend her. She doesn’t need mending, she just needs a little support. In reality, she is perfect, pure and wonderful light, but if you get caught up in her illness or problem, you can’t really help much. Your belief in the problem only adds to it. But if you don’t even lift a finger to help (although it is great to help with practical things when you can), and instead you spend some significant time, focus and energy on that person’s wellness and awesomeness — simply imagining her at her fantastic best — then you are helping the most.

Whatever you do, don’t fall into the trap of having a pity party for someone. Pity is the least helpful emotion or attitude you can give them. You can be sympathetic without looking on them with pity. You can choose to think that your friend is strong, smart, tough, clever, etc enough and they will get through this. We each have within us the ability to get through anything that comes our way.

Most of all, know that they don’t really need your help. They need you to know for them when they have forgotten that everything is going to turn out perfectly, they are getting everything they need and it’s all good.

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Do you have a story about helping someone that relates to this? Leave comments!

Now Doing Inspirational Presentations!

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Hi everyone! You are my best supporters, my blog readers! So, I wanted to let you know that I am unveiling two presentations about my paddling experiences this summer. If you know of an event looking for a speaker, please have the organizer contact me using the comments form below. Comments are not published until I approve them, so I will not publish any requests. As for everyone else… What do you think of my idea? Would you like to hear about my trips? Would you find it interesting? Leave comments!

800 Kilometers on the River — Insights from my Summer of Wilderness Paddling

30-minute presentation
Join outdoor enthusiast and owner of Flow North Paddling Company, Teresa Griffith as she shares the challenges and triumphs of canoeing and kayaking over 800 km on the beautiful Peace River. In total, she paddled for nineteen days — ten days solo, nine days with a canoe partner — steeped in the beauty of the wilderness river. She overcame shoulder trouble, thunderstorms, shallow water, strong wind and waves throughout her journey. She spent seven continuous days alone on the water, with only herself and her kayak, and she wasn’t the same when she finished. She shares inspiration which came to her on that portion of the trip, when time stood still and every paddle stroke was a meditation.

800 Kilometers on the River — Lessons in Independence

50-minute presentation
Join outdoor enthusiast and owner of Flow North Paddling Company, Teresa Griffith as she shares the challenges and triumphs of canoeing and kayaking over 800 km on the beautiful Peace River. In total, she paddled for nineteen days — ten days solo, nine days with a canoe partner — steeped in the beauty of the wilderness river. She overcame shoulder trouble, thunderstorms, shallow water, strong wind and waves throughout her journey. She spent seven continuous days alone on the water, with only herself and her kayak, and she wasn’t the same when she finished.

A dynamic speaker, Teresa gives an outline of her past experiences which led her to make this journey. She reviews her trip preparation and practical aspects of the journey. She also shares inspiration and insight which came to her on the solo portion of the trip, when time stood still and every paddle stroke was a meditation. Sitting out a severe thunderstorm on the river’s muddy bank, nowhere to hide, wisdom and poetry surfaced from somewhere deep within. You’ll be encouraged, uplifted, and inspired to stretch yourself beyond what you thought possible.

Arriving in Fort Vermilion

Morning People

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My husband is a morning person. I am not. After careful observations of his strange habits and energy levels, I have made several conclusions.

alertness versus time for different people

He isn’t perky, alert and annoying first thing in the morning on purpose, it’s just the way he is. πŸ™‚ And, we make a great partnership because

1. We agree that 3 pm should be nap time, and
2. When going on road trips, he drives the first part and I take over later on (when I’m fully awake)!

So I’m trying to be kind to him in the evening when he’s sleepy, remembering how I feel when I’m a zombie in the morning. πŸ˜›

annotated graph
That’s all for today! Have a great one! πŸ™‚

Lies We Believe

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Recently, I’ve realized and read some really big truths. Or rather, I’ve realized some really big lies that many of us believe without even realizing it.

1 – The lie: Outside things control us. The full quotation from The Science of Mind by Ernest Holmes says

We have thought that outside things controlled us, when all the time we have had that within which could have changed everything and given us freedom from bondage. – Holmes

Although we may think that our external environment controls what we do or how we live, it simply isn’t true. You never give up your control over your actions and thoughts. In tough times, you can choose to think positively. When someone is rude to you, you can choose to be polite. We have complete, utter sovereignty over our thoughts and therefore our lives.

2 – The lie: Things create more things. You might think, “no, people create things.” That’s not exactly true either. When it comes to creating anything in our lives, attitudes create things. And when I say “things,” I mean physical objects, circumstances, etc. You have probably experienced the frustration of trying to do something and just none of it will go right — your attitude, or thoughts, have made that thing hard to do, or they’ve made you want to do them when it isn’t the right time yet. If you get into an A-type personality mode, you can often push hard to do something that just isn’t needed/ready/the best thing to do. So your attitude creates a difficult time.
But getting back to the idea that attitudes create things, just realize that anything, good or bad, is in your life because you brought it there through a conscious or subconscious attitude and only you can remove it or change it. That is the foundation, but I don’t want to make it sound like it’s just “snap your fingers and voilΓ , it’s done.” It’s quite a bit of work to start being aware of what you’re thinking and how that’s affecting your life, and then learning to change it!

3 – The lie: Women need make-up. Why? To be attractive, of course. But make no mistake — you don’t attract people by how you look. Society feeds us the lie that women need make-up (and hair products, and skin lotions…) and popular media tries to tell us that our worth is tied to our looks, but that is so wrong! We attract people by who we are. We each have our own way of being, which includes our body language (like how we talk, move, look people in the eye, etc) and personality, but it also includes that “je ne sais quoi” — that special something, a person’s spirit. Sometimes, when you meet someone new, you can just tell you’re going to be friends with them. Or you might get a funny vibe not to trust them. In either case, it doesn’t have much to do with how they look, and we must stop believing the lie that we need to BUY THINGS to change the way we look to be more attractive. It’s just NOT TRUE! Authenticity should guide us instead. [Dove Evolution video]

4 – The lie: Men attract women by what they do. For the most part, men are told they have to do something cool, interesting, money-making, etc, to be successful and attract women. Or that they have to be clever/witty or romantic to say the right thing to get the girl.
Not true. You are not what you do. You attract by who you are. You don’t need a sexy job like race car driver to get the girls! Your attitude/spirit will attract them. Be the kind of person you want to attract — if you want a fun-loving, honest girl, be that. If you want a positive, easy-going partner, be that. Trust me, girls aren’t saying “I want a paramedic boyfriend” or “I want a guy who works at the Ford dealership!” It doesn’t matter what you do, it matters who you are. Think about who you would attract by who you are.

I think that the standard stereotypes are starting to be reversed, too. Men are now much more concerned about how they look, and products are now being pushed on them too (such as shave-gel, cologne, hair products). I’m guessing the products and marketing came first and then men started developing concern for their appearance. And women are now becoming more concerned with what they do, too.

I leave you with this last thought: You are not who you think you are… no one is. With no distractions, when you are truly alone with yourself, who are you? If you have no idea, but wish you did, go away by yourself with no distractions (TV, books, hobbies) and no mirror for 4+ days and I think you’ll find out! I certainly did when I went on my long kayak trip. It was wonderful!

Addictions? Me? Never!

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I read this tonight, and it really spoke to me! Thought I’d share it here:

The Spirit within me does not long for anything. It is free, safe, and satisfied. There is no sense of insecurity or of inferiority. I am not seeking to avoid anything. I am conscious of my ability to meet every situation. There is neither depression nor discouragement in my mental outlook on life. I do not look to anything outside myself to give me pleasure, comfort or certainty. I do not long for anything and I am not afraid of anything. My whole inner being is conscious of its unity with God, of its oneness with Spirit. There is no pleasure in intemperance, nor can it offer any suggestion of happiness to me…”

Wow. I wonder how I would treat people I encounter if I said that to myself every morning? Differently, I think. I had a challenging day today, and I wish I had read this in the morning… might have changed the outcome a little (although I was still quite positive and level-headed, despite some schtuff that happened. πŸ™‚ )

Remember I mentioned that this really spoke to me? Well, the paragraph is about intemperance, which I thought meant having a bad temper. But I wasn’t sure, so I thought I’d better look it up, just to be sure. I was wrong — intemperance is an expression for “immoderate indulgence of bodily appetites, specifically, drinking of alcoholic liquors.” Hmmm. A blurb about alcoholism spoke to me? I’m far from being an alcoholic (and not in denial, don’t worry), so what’s going on? Well, I might have other addictions, so… hmmm…

This is the second part of the paragraph — a-ha, it is all about habits!

I now see this habit for exactly what it is, an illusion, which seeks to force me to believe that there is some power outside myself which can give me either pleasure or pain. I do not anticipate such pleasure, nor is there any suggestive power in this habit which can cause me to believe that it has ever, under any circumstances whatsoever, given me pleasure. I am forever free from this thought, and from its effects. I do not will myself free from this habit, rather I perceive this habit is neither person, place nor thing. Having no law to operate, it cannot function. Having no intelligence of its own, it cannot suggest. Having no mind, it cannot will. I am now forever free from the mistaken belief that it was ever a thing of itself. I see it as forever separated from my real self, forever divorced from my imagination, thought and conviction. I am free now.”

That would be powerful against alcoholism! It will work on chocoholism, too, I think.

The paragraph above is actually a prayer treatment. A prayer treatment (or affirmative prayer) is something that you say, out loud, somewhat like a regular prayer, except it is more affirmative and “treats” you for a specific set of false-thinking you are stuck in. It’s a little like self-hypnosis, something you tell yourself so that you can change how you think, but affirmative prayer also lets God/Spirit help you in that area.

This prayer treatment comes from Ernest Holmes’ book The Science of Mind. Now maybe you think this is just too close to scientology or (what you feel are) other “quack” religions, not what you choose to believe. I hope you can see the wisdom in the words even if you don’t quite understand or agree with the source. For a little more info, click here. I will not try to convince or convert you, ever. Believe whatever you want to believe, but be aware that what you choose to believe and think shapes your reality! Aaah, this reminds me of my book! I am essentially finished writing it, although I need a cover design and some artwork done, then I really need to work on publishing it! Next year! πŸ™‚ Seriously, I’ll work on it in January when I have more time.

Believing the Best

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fall trees hutch lakeThere’s no question that autumn is upon us. It’s been quite cool here – daily high temperatures are not always in the double digits anymore – and we’ve been having the low cloud and fog that is characteristic of this time of year. Meteorologically speaking, it’s caused by the cool air above relatively warm water, and as the water evaporates, it immediately condenses… but enough science-talk. It’s mesmerizing, and some days the fog makes me feel like I’m living in Ireland, ah, but without the ocean, the lovely people, and the greenery.Β  All of our leaves have changed colour and thanks to some gusty winds this week, many trees are even bare. I have missed a few beautiful scenes for a lack of camera, but I’ve stored them in my memory. Maybe sometime I’ll paint them. I can show you some pics I took 2 years ago.

We had a thick frost the other day, and I felt like digging in my heels and yelling “I’m not ready for this!” But, after a couple of days of brisk temps, I feel better. It’s amazing what a person can get used to, and how a slight change in attitude changes everything.

I was resting a little while ago, just thinking about events of the last few days. I’ve been a bit of a sh*t-disturber, or at best, very assertive. I stood up and spoke quite strongly at a local community consultation meeting about a decision our town council made recently. I was working with a group of other concerned citizens on a proposal, which the town shot down. We were shocked and not impressed. So I expressed that the best way I could, although I was quite tired and could have possibly done better. But I stood up and said something, which I hear is worth a lot (compared to the common Canadian way of complaining about things without ever addressing the people who could change it directly). In any case, it was stressful, my heart was pounding, but I guess it went okay.

My husband stood up and said a few things, too, but his spirit was quite different from mine as he spoke. He was a peacemaker, sometimes standing up to shed light on a situation, reminding people they can get involved, or thanking the town council for having the meeting. I’d say on the whole, he was more present and less-egoic than I was! (I blame being up too long, coming off of midnight shifts with only a 3 hour nap). πŸ™‚ Ah, just making excuses… sometimes being more tired makes me more present or gentle, but not that day.

fall beaver damI used to be a peacemaker; as the middle child, it was one of the roles in my family! Have I changed? Am I fundamentally different? Perhaps not; we have some sh*t-disturbing tendencies in my family… in a good way! I think I may have become more of a do-er – I get frustrated with talk-talk-talk and politicking. Let’s just jump in and do something about it! But I was like that in university too, so I guess I haven’t changed too much. I can certainly talk with the best of them, but before long, I need action! In any case, I would like to reconnect with the peacemaker in me (I know she’s still there) and only tip the boat when necessary.

The other thing I was thinking about just now as I was reflecting was how I need to keep believing the best. I’ve been a little jaded about things lately, and I don’t want to be. I want to, despite a few facts that might contradict, believe the best about people and situations around me. After all, there are 2 sides to everything, and I can choose to look at one side more than the other, and I choose the good. If Darren is slow to do the dishes, I still need to believe he will do them, rather than think that he’s stalling, trying to get me to do them, etc. Believe the best, right? So, this will be my mode of operating for the next while – and I’ll keep reminding myself if I need to (which of course I will)!

Have a great day everybody!


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What a surreal day I am having! Last night, I bought a newspaper. Turns out, Darren bought one, too, and when we were sitting around the table, I told him that, but then I couldn’t find where I’d put it. I was a little mildly annoyed (at myself, for having misplaced it). This morning, I was getting ready for work, and wondering where I had put my wallet β€” what is with me losing things?!? Well, I thought it was in my back pack, but I had taken it out to buy something… ah, yes, the newspaper, last night. Well, I will have to look for it later.

What do I find, sitting on the hood of my car this morning? My wallet, sitting on top of the newspaper, where I had put it down last night! Ack!

Everything was in the wallet, including the cash, and the paper looked completely undisturbed. How wild is that?!? Wow. When I got home last night, I had grabbed them off the front seat, but I needed to plug my car in, so I put them on the hood so my hands were free. Then I opened the back door, got my back pack and lunch bag and walked right by the wallet and newspaper on the car. And yet, my absent-mindedness had no repercussions whatsoever. Unless someone stole my VISA, bought stuff and then put it back… hang on while I check my account balances!Β  πŸ™‚ I can’t help but think the universe is looking out for me!

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Man I hate working early! It sucks getting out of my nice, warm bed! I have to walk down the cold hallway to the bathroom and then after my shower, I get all cold again! The house is never warm enough, at least not in the basement. And I am up before the sun, for pete’s sake.

Wow, I have seen the sun rise every sun-rise-jan-15-2day for the last 3 days! It is so beautiful β€” I have missed it so many times when I just wanted to sleep in… how much of life have I missed because I wanted to just stay in bed?! (What can I say, I’m not naturally a morning person.) I am lucky to work a job with a great view, and on day shifts, I get to watch the sun rise every day!

I love my shower! It is so nice and warm, and the water feels so wonderful on my skin!

I hate getting called into work on my day off!Β  I mean, I had plans for today! I had things I wanted to do! Now, I have drag myself out of bed to go to work. Ugh.

Okay, so I wasn’t planning on working, but it’s all going very well. Heck, I get to watch planes land all day! It’s not like I’m shoveling snow or working outside in the cold and wind. But I get a little fresh air from time to time, and that’s great too. I’m not tied to a desk, and have a lot of freedom in my job, which is perfect for me.

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There are always 2 sides to a situation and we can choose which side to see. We always have the chance to pick the positive or the negative thoughts about every situation we are in. We don’t just “find ourselves” in a situation, we are actively there. We don’t just randomly think thoughts, we either follow the pattern of thoughts we’ve been in for a while (a rut), or we actively choose what thoughts to think. Getting out of a rut is not as hard as you think… it just requires a change in direction.

Think outside the box today! See things from another perspective, and pick your thoughts with care!