Welcome to Canada! Let me tell you a few things about this country you now call home, and offer some advice.
This land was originally inhabited by aboriginal peoples, long before the French, English and Scottish came here to make their homes. We call them First Nations, and when you meet a First Nations person, show them respect. They may not always respect themselves, but you should show respect just the same.
In fact, you will do well in Canada if you respect everyone you meet, as soon as you meet them. They might turn out to be a jerk – we have our share of those – but wait for them to show you that themselves. Don’t assume they are one. Be polite to strangers and friends alike. That might be a big difference from the country you came from.
I don’t know what it was like in your home country, but I can imagine that you didn’t have the well-stocked grocery stores we have, the good road system, the excellent hospitals, and, to a large degree, kind people everywhere you go. There are charitable organizations to help needy people, people having cancer treatments, and a thousand other things. We like to take care of each other here. We like to look out for one another, and although we aren’t perfect at this, it’s something we do as a whole.
It might be because our founding religions were Christian. We do hold quite a few of those values in our society, and you’ll see them in our laws and policies, if you know how to look for them. Not everyone is kind and considerate, but you will do well to practice kindness as much as possible. Non-Christians are welcome here, but I wanted to mention that about our origins. Not everyone is religious, but almost everyone is kind. You are welcome to bring your religion and practice it here, but if your religion is not kind, it will not fit in here. It could, in an extreme case, even make you unwelcome.
Remember that for all the hospitals, roads, bridges, and other amenities you enjoy, someone had to pay for those. People who were born here, and who moved here long before you, did that so that you can benefit from them. You can enjoy moving about this country freely because of others who worked hard, paid their taxes, and because they cared enough to contribute. They contributed by having jobs, by joining service groups, by volunteering and by helping their neighbours with everything from babysitting to snow shoveling. Look for ways to contribute to all sorts of Canadians. Make sure you mix with other cultures and don’t just stick to your own.
We are not perfect but we generally obey the laws and conform to our social norms. You would do well to do the same. We do not consider our laws to apply to some and not to others; they apply to everyone equally, and they are enforced. If you bend them, they will snap back. If you disregard them, you won’t be able to stay here, or you’ll be put in jail – you’ll lose your freedom. One of the reasons Canada is Canada is because we had law enforcement early on; while the US had the wild west, we had the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, and they still keep the order today. Respect them.
Our laws say that women have all the same rights as men; if you do not agree with this, you should look for somewhere else to live and move there as soon as you can. If moving is not an option for you, you will do well to learn to keep your opinions very, very hidden. This equality is fundamental to who we are, and you will NOT be able to change it.
Actually, don’t try to change anything about Canada. We are who we are and we’ve been this way a long time. Any of your behaviour that differs too much from the social norm will not make a change; it will only alienate you. Do not blame Canadians for alienating you. You always do that to yourself. We are quite welcoming to those who want to live here, follow our laws, contribute to our society and be like us.
We have our quirks – we love our quirks. You do not have to be a cookie-cutter Canadian. Just take some time to watch those around you and see how they act. Although we value our freedom and independence greatly, we are also more conforming than you may realize. This will be your challenge while you are new here! You will have to learn to put aside your ideas from your home country and adopt ours.
I don’t want to overwhelm you with advice. You have probably been through a lot to get here. Let me summarize.
Show respect to everyone.
Respect the laws, and follow them.
Be grateful for what you have, where you are, and those who made it possible for you to be here.
And yes, be kind and polite!
Hello all! Friday was an exciting day for us as we finally got our 2 new alpacas! We’ve been wanting some new males to keep Fozzie company, since he can’t be with the girls. So, we talked to our friends with alpacas and they held onto two of their young males for us! I’m sure you’ll agree they are super-cute.
It was getting dark when we got the new alpacas on Friday night, so these photos were all taken Saturday morning. I plan to keep the new alpacas separate for a little while — my reasoning is that Fozzie should get to know his new friends over the fence before letting them all be together. Since they are all intact males, there is a small chance they will fight — but that depends on personality and crowding. These guys have lots of room, so they should be alright. Saturday morning, we gave the girls and Fozzie their kibble first and then opened Fozzie’s gate. He finished his kibble and then went outside as he always does. He noticed the new guys right away and came over. He looked at them from a little ways back — he was stuck behind a huge pile of snow I had shoveled a few days before — but he found his way to the fence and began sniffing the new fellas.
It looks like they are all going to get along great! Ziggy was definitely a bit more curious about Fozzie than Boeing was. Boeing is pretty chill — he’s like a Zen master.
We also got a big load of hay on Friday. A few of the bales were lower quality and/or falling apart, so we piled them outside, to be used first. Well, the girls noticed them and had a feast. What lucky alpacas!
This is a ways from where the male alpacas are — Daisy is looking towards the dogs. It is constant dog play at our place, and sometimes the dogs bumble across the ground and the girls have to get out of their way!
I still don’t have a good picture of Jenny! She’s always moving! But I do have this one.
We love our alpacas! We have four of them — 3 females and 1 male. I thought I’d take a minute to tell you about the latest alpaca rodeo. It’s not like we plan to have one — except when we have an appointment to get them sheared! Usually the rodeo is kind of unexpected.
A couple of days ago, the rodeo was to help our brown beauty, Marley. She had been limping a little and it had gotten much worse in 24 hrs. So, it was time to have a look at that foot and see what was going on. I figured if Darren held her, I would look at her foot. I mixed up a batch of warm water with epsom salts in it. If this were a movie, we’d go to a flashback now, for how I learned that epsom salts are so good!
In addition to alpacas, we have a healthy population of barn cats. It started when we got Felicity to replace Stella. A while ago, something happened to one of Felicity’s paws. I don’t know how she injured it, but the top was getting infected and she was licking it incessantly. I decided I had to do something, because she was licking it raw and it was getting very puffy. So, I knitted a small sock, and with Darren’s help — what would I do without him?! — we put some polysporin (a cream that’s supposed to fight infections. It doesn’t.) on her paw, a piece of gauze from the first aid kit, and then the sock. We taped the sock securely on, in the same manner one tapes on hockey socks, taping the tape to itself, not to her fur. With the sock applied, we figured she’d be great in no time. To make a long story short, let’s just say for over a week, we applied cream, replaced the sock after she pulled it off, and whatnot. She wore a cone for a lot of that time, too, poor kitty. The infection got marginally better, but barely.
Then my friend Noreen suggested warm water with epsom salts in it. I was instructed to run the water over her paw as much as she would let me and then leave it to dry (with Felicity wearing a cone). In two treatments, the infection was almost completely gone! Love that stuff.
So, zooming back to the present, we are faced with one very limpy alpaca and a bucket of warm epsom salt water. I caught Marley when she wasn’t expecting it and handed her off to Darren. Then, the rodeo started! Our alpacas seem tame enough, until you try to grab and hold them. In that instance, some instinctual effects kick in and they start to buck around like wild broncos! She jumped around a bit, lunging and ducking, trying to get away, for five seconds or so, and then settled down a little ways away.
I knelt down by her bad foot and managed to lift it up and look at it. There was no obvious injury that I could see, but it sure was puffy! The natural crack between her toes was nearly gone, it was so swollen. So, I brought the pail of water over and put her foot in. She didn’t protest at all — it probably felt quite nice — so I gently scooped water up to cover her ankle a bit. I was able to hold her foot in the water for 10-15 seconds before Darren shifted or she just got tired of being touched. A short rodeo began again, but I told Darren to let her go. I had planned to dry her foot off after wetting it, but decided that she was pretty riled up. So we let her be.
The next morning, she was limping much less, and by the next evening (24 hrs after applying the salt water), she was not limping at all! I could not believe it! This time, I had planned to put a bucket of epson salt water out and see if she put her foot in on her own. She’s so smart, I bet she would have!
Other alpaca rodeos are a given when you try to separate one alpaca from the others. We were trying to load Fozzie on shearing day, and he decided to go into the horse trailer first. I told Darren to keep him in, but he did not want to do that! He ran right through Darren’s arm, jamming it into the side of the trailer, and he thought Fozzie had broken it! It was just a bad bruise. I attempted to catch Fozzie a week ago to take a piece of baler twine off him — he must have gotten it off a bale but how he got it around his neck, like a necklace, I’ll never know! Because it was like a necklace, I wasn’t too worried about him getting strangled. He let me cut it, so it was no longer a loop, but he did not let me do much else. I chased and lunged and held onto him briefly, but I was just grabbing his fibre (wool) and then I realized I was sort of pulling on his hair so I let go. How rude of me!
So, I think I’d like to learn how to handle them a bit better. I can move them around really well without touching them, but when grabbing them is necessary, it’s rodeo time and that’s just not ideal. Our mamma alpaca’s bangs are getting quite long and I’d like to trim them, but I’d like to be able to do it with a minimum of drama. So, we’ll just have to google it — or ask the nearby alpaca farm! 🙂
I heard a very interesting thing the other day. I was listening to an inspirational speaker, and what she had to say bent my brain and I’ll never forget it. Let me try and encapsulate it here.
Most of us would stop and help someone who was bleeding in the street. If there was a car accident, we’d stop what we’re doing and offer whatever help we could — first aid, call 9-1-1, wrap the person in a blanket, keep traffic away from them, whatever. But when someone is angry, we don’t want anything to do with him or we feel angry right back, and we’ll even say things that add fuel to his fire. We don’t offer help, and we are not sympathetic. But that angry person is bleeding just as much as the injured one — he is emotionally gushing blood everywhere.
Why don’t we think of helping? There are lots of reasons. Firstly, we don’t see it as a first-aid situation. It doesn’t even occur to us to offer help to the angry person. We just want him to go away (usually). We want him to stop upsetting our mood, our day.
If the person is upset with us, we are too busy reacting to his anger to think of anything else. We are throwing foul words his way as fast as we can think of them. We might be unleashing all the pissed-off things we’ve thought but never said. Or we might be turning inward, just wishing the angry tirade would stop. We might be clamming up and bottling our feelings, but whether we are lashing out or collapsing in, we never think of helping.
If the anger is not about us, then we usually just want to get rid of the person. They are ruining our day! We’ll think, “this isn’t about me — go tell someone who cares.”
But what if we treated that upset person as though they were in need of first aid? I see “no tolerance” signs posted in doctor’s offices. The first one I ever saw was in huge, red letters, in all-caps, and it was NOT messing around. Police would be called. You would not see the doctor. Don’t even think about raising your voice.
But, people who just lost it are in serious trouble. They can’t contain their emotions — it’s rushing out, uncontrolled. Could we offer some sort of first aid to them? Could it be there is a serious mental health issue going on? What if most of the time it’s more than just a lack of self control?
I’ve taken a LOT of first aid over the last 7 years or so, since joining the volunteer fire department. The first step is always to make sure your own safety will not be compromised if you help. We are not taught to rush into burning buildings willy-nilly. If it can’t be done safely, we don’t do it, period. So, personal safety first.
I think the same would apply to anger first aid. If the person is so angry he/she is going to start hurting people, then leave it to the professionals (someone in riot gear)! But if he/she is strictly verbal, and there really is no danger, then what?
The second step in first aid is always to call for more help — dial 9-1-1 or have someone else do it. Same goes in anger — get some back-up if you think you’ll need it. But I would say, don’t just grab the closest person — find someone who is calm enough, or conscious of his/her own state, to help. This could be tough, because a lot of people around may not be calm at all — they might also be angry or afraid. So yes, at times, you might have to call 9-1-1.
After that, the actual first aid takes place. You assess their breathing. You check for gushing blood. In anger first aid, I suppose it would be to try to show the person you relate. Say the obvious thing to diffuse them. “I’m sure she didn’t mean to rear-end you. It was an accident.” At other times, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. My mistake.” I know that can be hard to say, but if you think of it as something to you need to say to talk the person off a ledge (as in suicide intervention), then just say it.
Anything beyond basic anger diffusing is going to take more thought and be more specific to the situation — which makes it difficult to summarize here. If you can keep your cool, you can probably think of something else thoughtful or helpful to say. Perhaps I’ll do another blog post to expand on things to say/do for specific types of anger. If you ever have a chance to take Mental Health First Aid, do it — I learned a lot when I took it. I think the basic anger diffusing and realizing the person needs help, not police, might go a long ways towards improving the situation. It could, in fact, change the way our whole society operates.
It’s so simple. See someone having an emotional outbreak as needing our help, not our judgment or condemnation. It could change the world.
Note: I originally wrote this 3 weeks ago, but had to dig up photos to go with the text! Enjoy!
I have ghost knee pads right now. Have you ever worn something so much that you feel like you’re still wearing it? I have been wearing my knee pads (the foamy kind that strap on for construction work, like these) quite a lot for the last week, and now I feel like they’re still on! It’s so weird. Any why have I been wearing them so much?
I’ve been madly trying to finish a second doghouse for our new dog! We got her yesterday, and I finished her dog house today. She’s a mostly-black border collie named Jenny, from In the Woods Animal Shelter in Nampa, AB. If you live in Northern Alberta, I recommend checking them out. We needed a farm dog to keep Gunner company — he’s a brown dynamo (mostly chocolate lab) and he was pretty bored and lonely. He chased the cats a lot. Now, he’s tired from playing with Jenny! Success!
So anyway, I realized I have actually done quite a bit of building since we moved here 2 years ago. I was going to make a full-on tutorial of the first dog house, but for now I’ll just post some photos of my projects.
Gunner’s Dog House
Made entirely from wood we had lying around, this is my first masterpiece! 🙂 I realize not everyone has rough-cut planks for siding lying around, but if you can get some, they are a nice look. Notice the kitty portal for access to the attic — Lucy likes to sleep up there! I installed the shingles once it was in position near the house, because I knew it would be heavy enough without them. And it is; it was really hard to move from the shop to the house — but I managed to get it onto a plastic sled and push it through the snow.
Our insurance agent said we needed railings for our deck — who knew!? 🙂 This project took me a while. We had been given the cedar 4X4″ boards but I bought the 2X2’s for the verticals and used 2×4’s that I found in the shop. I also had to buy long, beefy crews (called lug bolts) to attach the 4X4’s to the deck. Fun, fun!
Mobile Chicken Coop
Our chickens were in a small building all winter, but in spring, I felt bad for them. They needed more fresh air! Whenever we threw grass/weeds/kitchen scraps in there, they devoured them. So, I made them a floor-less chicken coop, or chicken tractor as they are sometimes called. I tried to build it a light as possible, so it would be easy to move, but it’s still a heavy bugger! The chickens love it, although only 1 of the 3 chickens could make the leap up to the nests. So, I kind of felt bad about that. When I moved them back into their winter coop, I quickly nailed together a chicken ladder, so they can all 3 roost together again! 🙂
Jenny’s Dog House
My latest, and fastest, creation! I built this in a little over 8 hrs, at a guess. It’s easier when you’ve done it once, and it saved a lot of time to use store-bought insulation. Don’t ask how much it cost — this doghouse should have gold leaf on it! Anyways, it’s quicker to install recycled denim insulation than fluff up raw wool and stuff it into the walls (the method for Gunner’s dog house). I also made this a simple slanted roof, instead of a fancy peaked roof.
Don’t ever let them say you can’t do it because you’re a girl or woman! I run powertools like a boss. Well, in my workshop, I am the boss! 🙂 I have also found ways to work alone — I used clamps to hold things, or prop things up, so that I can work without help. I am an independent kind of gal, what can I say?
Our New Dog, Jenny
Let me say a little more about Jenny! She’s very smart and energetic, and loves to sniff things! She started smelling the ground as soon as she was out of the vehicle, and then she met Gunner and there was a great deal of sniffing! It was probably 10 minutes before she gave the people any attention! Gunner wanted to play with her SO bad when they met (but she had to do sniffing first). They did play, though — for about 25 minutes straight! Running and running! It was awesome. Later, in the workshop, she gave us more attention, leaning on us and loving the pets. She had a snow bath, rolling back and forth on her back in the snow — and then I realized that’s where the alpacas poop sometimes! Yup, she was poopy-smelling! But I think she liked it. What a girl!
Today, I took her for a walk around the perimeter of all our land, to sort of show her where her new yard is. She nearly pulled my arm off! For most of the walk! But she started to walk better by the end. I also tried to show her the end of the driveway and not to go onto the road. I hope that it worked — when I started the perimeter-walk, she had been in the ditch and on the road briefly. Man. I hope she got the message today!
So, we’re pretty excited to have her around! Gunner finally has a playmate. Next up, 2 more alpacas. Gotta get a shelter converted from a calf shelter to an alpaca shelter. I’m already half done, so it shouldn’t take long.
Have you heard the expression, “he is an impressionable young man?” I always took that to mean that the boy was likely to take a passing comment to heart too much, or that if you mentioned something to him, it might have such an impression on him that he forms a whole way-of-being based on it. For example, if you said, “I really like Bob’s hair cut,” he might go get the same haircut and wear his hair that way for years. Or if he saw a successful man in a nice suit, he’d realize who had the power and then spend years of his life trying to be that guy.
Do you know any hypochondriacs? Whatever the new disease, they’ve got it? Those pharmaceutical commercials on TV must be a killer on them — always needing to run to their doctor to find out if XYZ drug is right for them! Can you imagine? Another example of “an impressionable” person — believing that if someone else can get this-or-that illness, then they are vulnerable to it, too.
In so many ways, we can all be impressionable or hypochondriacs, don’t you think? Except we do it with ideas. We take other people’s ideas about how the world is, and we make them our own. If it applies to them, it must apply to me, too. Maybe it’s the abuse of scientific thinking — if Bob found it to be true, it must be true for everyone, like physics or chemistry. But that just isn’t the case! What can be absolutely true for one person can be completely false for another. And (to really bend your brain), this can even apply to physics and chemistry.
I’m having a hard time thinking of examples. Here’s one that might work: Darren and I were driving home from a Christmas party. He commented, in a worried tone, that this section of road seems to be ice. I thought, “why on earth is he saying that? Why is he worried about that?” If I had been driving, I might have noticed a certain sheen to the road, but we have good winter tires, and as long as you’re going a reasonable speed — which he was — then there is nothing to worry about! I said something along these lines, and Darren seemed kind of offended, because I wouldn’t join him in his worry. But why? There is nothing to worry about! He pointed out the sliding marks where someone before us had slid on the road. I said, “so what? Some people have banana peels for tires!” But, there was clearly a huge rift between how I was feeling — happy from time spent with friends, great music, and yummy food — and how he was feeling. Of course, feelings come from thoughts, and he had been thinking worried, unhappy thoughts before that.
So, what could I do in that situation? I absolutely believe that it does not help anyone to join them in their worry. Definitely. But, to be cheerful in the presence of someone having a worry-party just doesn’t work. If I’ve tried to cheer them up and they just won’t, I have to leave them be. I guess if they have been through some sort of trauma, I would sit and just be with them, but in the case of last night, I just couldn’t get on board. Which I guess is me judging the situation and not feeling that it warranted all the concern Darren was intent on giving it. Yet, we can all be hypochondriacs and overly-impressionable, so I definitely could have been more compassionate.
That’s growth. That’s living in relationship. That’s life! 🙂 I think all we can do for ourselves is to try and be aware of what areas of life we are impressionable in, and what we are exposing ourselves to. Perhaps focusing on health would help us not to get sick (because we can be hypochondriacs), or spending time with people or watching TV that exposes us to “sick” thoughts. What if you paid attention to how certain shows on TV make you feel? If you feel unhappy about yourself, or unsatisfied with your home/clothes/hair/job/whatever, then that show is planting ideas in you (because we can all be impressionable at times). Are they ideas you want to grow? If not, you have to weed them out! And that is so much harder than not exposing yourself to that seed in the first place.
As always, just my thoughts on things!
P.S. I passed my final evaluation! 🙂 (Read the post here.)