I caught myself oogling a man today.
This isn’t my usual behaviour, but it was nice and warm out, he was wearing a T-shirt, carrying a heavy bag and there were muscles bulging, etc… I had better stop there before this starts to sound like a crappy harlequin novel!
So what’s up with that — me oogling a man? You know, men have been oogling women since the beginning of time, more or less (I wasn’t there, so I can’t say for sure), but women oogling men is fairly new, in the last 20-or-so years. (Googling is an even newer phenomena, but it’s a natural extension of oogling.) So why do we oogle? Have women just learned how to oogle from men — taken their example and run with it? Think muscly, bow-tie-sporting, greased up men in bikini underwear… doesn’t it seem like something a man would come up with? Not very different from strippers in a brothel — and brothels go way back. Or is the half-naked firefighter calendar and Chippendale dancer phenomena a direct result of that scientific study — don’t ask me who did the research — that said women’s sex drive peaks in their 30’s? It seems to me before the study results were released, women didn’t worry or think much about their sex drive, but hey, since we finally got it, let’s give it a spin!?
Well, whatever the reason, I’m not going to let oogling become a habit. I know I don’t overly appreciate being looked up and down by men just because I wore something that actually shows my body shape. So, I don’t want to do it to the opposite sex. Heck, I’ve even done it to other women — noticed a nice body. Crazy.
I think that most men would at this point say not to worry, it’s a harmless look. But it’s a harmless look that men don’t have to put up with — a-ha! Maybe the Chippendale phenomena is women giving men a taste of their own medicine. How do they like being judged on how they look? Only considered sexy if they show some skin? Scorned because of a few extra pounds?
I had a startling and vivid dream a few weeks ago, and as clear as if someone spoke directly into my brain, I heard a female voice say “if only I were fat, then they would leave me alone.”
Wow. So that is why some women make themselves so overweight — they want certain men in their lives to leave them alone. In the context of the dream, it meant to stop sexually abusing them, but it could apply to any unwanted attention — even oogling.
Too many young girls have to grow up faster than they ought to because they have to learn how to deflect unwanted, inappropriate attention. It’s ALL unwanted attention — make no mistake. They want to just be girls and not have to deal with sexual, womanly things. In a loving, child-safe environment, they can grow up to be healthy people with a good body-image.
In my perfect world, people see each other’s inside as well and their outside. We all want to get to know each other and be friends, or at least, have friendly interactions. Men and women alike don’t have to be overly concerned with their appearances. We appreciate each other’s whole selves.
I don’t want to live in a world where people look at each other as a side of beef, so I’m changing the way I think about it. After this blog post, I’ll be giving much less attention to it, wearing whatever I like and being oblivious to any looks I get. I’m really good at being oblivious, so it should work out pretty well.
Your thoughts? Is oogling harmless or degrading? Are we as a society becoming more shallow?
(Men are becoming far more concerned with appearances, too, if toupees are any indication of the craziness. I mean, who first said “I’m so embarrassed to be going bald, I’m going to put this rug on my head”?!?)