Note: I was going to email the following to a friend of mine, and then I realized that many people might be going through similar things and could benefit from this inspiration.
I wanted to give you a few thoughts about your son. You mentioned that you’ve been having some trouble with him – with his health and his behaviour – and I said that it can be a difficult time for a boy his age, but thinking about it today, I want to take that back, or at least rephrase. Although it can be a difficult time for him as he enters teenage, it doesn’t have to be. I know you want to spend more time with him, and that will help, but only if you have the right frame of mind.
As much as you can, don’t let yourself think of your son as flawed in any way. Even if they say he has Asperger’s or any other syndrome, so what? Micheal J. Fox has Parkinsons’. Stevie Wonder was completely blind and look what he did. Doctors like to label people, and if they don’t quite behave like everyone else, they get labelled. There are plenty of children today being diagnosed with things that in the past – say a hundred years ago – would have just been called “personality.” One very cool thing I heard lately: kids who are different tell the adults “we aren’t disabled, we’re re-abled.” Some kids are born with more abilities, but those with a small perspective see it as a “problem.” I am sure your son is very good at some things – figure out what those are and encourage him to do them. Celebrate his unique skills!
Whenever you think of your son, think of what a great kid he is! He isn’t flawed and just because he doesn’t have a lot of friends does not indicate there’s something wrong with him. If you can befriend him and treat him 100% normal, he will start to feel that way too. You should go on a canoe trip with him!! Wouldn’t that be awesome?! Give him an adventure, teach him some new skills and get him out of the house.
And if you would like him to have more friends, just imagine him with the perfect friends, who understand him and get along with him. Talk to some other parents – there might even be a kid similar to yours who needs a friend and maybe they can hook up together. I guess this will be a little harder with him away on summer holidays, but you can still change your thinking in that direction and then see what happens when he gets back.
Your son is perfect. There is nothing wrong with him! He might just be a little misunderstood. Remind him that you love him and everything will work out great.
All the best,
P.S. If you are really interested in this concept, watch this video! 🙂