I’ve been feeling a bit weird lately, not quite myself, and I’ve narrowed it down to 2 reasons: a house, and a haircut.
The house that is making me feel weird is ours! We bought a house recently and just moved in on Monday (my excuse for not blogging much in the last month or so). We made an offer at the end of January, and even with no other interested buyers, it was a lot of work to get everything done by March 2, our possession date. But, all the ducks got in a row, and everything was done on time! We worked so hard to get ready for the move; we had a few friends lined up to help, and we knew that the more prepared we were, the smoother it would go. We had enough people to have an indoor crew—which I was part of—and an outdoor crew, passing things off at the door, even heavy things, like my electric piano! My friend Patrick, who helped us all day, got the strangest look on his face when we said the heaviest thing we had to move was the piano! I could see the mental wheels turning as he thought “a piano! Ack, I didn’t sign up for that!” and then tried to think of an excuse to get out of moving it! But it’s not a full-size piano and although it’s pretty heavy, it’s nowhere near as bad as a real piano! Later, we all agreed that “mover’s diarrhea” was the best excuse to say that you couldn’t help someone move (or had to go home before the move was done). 🙂
So, we’re settling in, and I realized today I feel a little different now that I’m a “home owner.” I didn’t think it would change me at all, and don’t believe that home owners are somehow different (better) than others. But I can’t deny I feel a bit weird… different somehow. I think the difference is one of responsibility. I feel like a real, fully grown up adult. I feel like I want to keep my house clean and nice, whereas before I hated housework and generally avoided it. I guess because I own it, I naturally care more. Ask me in a month if I still want to do housework, though… the feeling may pass!
The second thing that’s throwing me for a loop is my haircut. About a week ago, I got it cut quite a bit shorter, with lots of layers. I thought it would be great, since my hair was very boring and just sort of hung there. But, I am not liking it… perhaps because I don’t have time to “do” it, and it curls under, around my face and bugs me! When I see myself in the mirror, I am shocked every time – that’s not me! Oh, what to do…
So I feel weird. I am thrilled with the new house, but I’m just not quite myself! But, it occurred to me today that it’s not like this is the first time I’ve had to adjust to change; I remember when I first moved away from home, from the farm to the big city, and how difficult it was to adjust! It wasn’t dark or quiet at night, and there were people and cars everywhere! Winter wasn’t a pretty season anymore, as the snow turned brown and slushy with sand and salt on the roads. Urban living is vastly different from life in the country, and it was very hard to get used to.
There are many changes in life, like when you start kindergarten or grade 1, switch from elementary to junior high school, move away from home, go to university, get married, switch jobs, have children, move to another town, and buy houses! I’ve been through many of those, and at each, there was a period when I was uncomfortable. I think it’s a window of opportunity to redefine who we are; a chance to make new habits or initiate a positive change. I am excited about this, and I plan to be cleaner and less cluttered, less busy and pulled in so many directions. I want to make sure to give Darren the attention he deserves, and make sure to exercise. It sounds like a lot, but it’s totally do-able! More change is coming my way, as I will probably be losing my job—another chance to redefine myself. I’ll keep you posted! Let’s hear it for change! 🙂