I told my sisters one day not too long ago, sitting in one of our favourite restaurants, that I am done with striving. I don’t think they understood at first, but I tried to explain. I have been moving towards true acceptance of myself, and I’m no longer “trying” to be something I am not, and am quite happy with exactly who I am. That is not the same as saying there’s nothing I would want to change about myself, but I am no longer “fighting the good fight” or “struggling with ___ (fill in the blank).” Instead, I’m taking on an attitude of peace towards myself (and indeed towards everything I can). As I was reading The Deeper Wound today (which I am thoroughly enjoying and getting so much out of!) a few lines particularly struck me:
“Be gentle when you are tempted to be harsh. Pay attention when you are tempted to turn a blind eye. Accept that the negativity you are feeling belongs to you when you are tempted to blame someone else.” – Deepak Chopra
I think this is so deep! And it describes how I want to be – not the battle I am fighting with myself, but simply how I want to be. Maybe it sounds like semantics, but it isn’t. But I admit, it is hard to explain, especially if you are used to fighting with, or doubting, yourself all the time.
There’s one thing I feel I should clarify – although Deepak writes “accept that the negativity you are feeling belongs to you” this doesn’t mean that every time you feel negative about something, this defines who you are – that it’s yours, like a possession that you own and will never get rid of. You can realize that you feel this way, but not get hung up on it. This goes hand in hand with not being perfectionistic when it comes to your traits, thoughts or actions. I know this is harder for some people than others, but I think that being kind to yourself is one of the best things you can learn to do!! Start with something small and just do it! Be kind! And when we’re kind to ourselves, we find it that much more natural to be kind to others, too.
Some things to think about… take care, everybody!