Toilet Paper

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Of all the paper in the world, isn’t toilet paper the best?!?! If we could have a paper-free society in every other way, that would be great. But it would take a lot for me to give up toilet paper. You know, I don’t feel the slightest bit bad about the trees that died to be processed into toilet paper. I just don’t! So why do I feel bad that things in my life have to end in order for good to come? Well, I guess that’s just human, just as we tend to take toilet paper for granted until we don’t have any, and then we’ve got a crisis! 🙂 In my life, well, I’m in the process of saying good bye to a very precious thing to me, my relationship with Steve. He is such a sweetheart, but, well, for a variety of reasons, we broke off our relationship yesterday. We’re going to stay friends, and I know that often people can’t make that work, but I think it will for us, since we were such good friends as it was, and since we have some physical distance, too. It’s not like I’ll be seeing him at work (he’s thousands of kms away), or missing hugs from him (no change there, since I was already living without them). So, that’s my big news and why I don’t much feel like writing lately. We’ll see, though… the other day when I was feeling really low (before we had broken up, but I suspected the worst) I had a great dream with amazing worship music, and so I wrote a song that morning. So that was pretty cool! I haven’t written anything in a while, although I have been playing my keyboard from time to time. I’m not sure if the song came directly from the dream – I don’t think so – but I wrote one nonetheless. It’s simple, but I like it. Now I just wish I had somewhere to share it. Today I went back to that church I had gone to in October, and I don’t know… I will try again, but I am not so sure. It is pretty old-fashioned, which is not necessarily a bad thing, but the pastor was ranting a bit today, and I didn’t exactly agree with what he was saying. So, there you go… we’ll have to see. It’s not easy going through life more or less alone, but I guess maybe I’ll get used to it. I’m an independent person, but there is a limit, and a point where I’d like to do things with people and share things (I’m even talking about female frieds here, too)! I have a few in town, but they are all married and fairly busy… oh, well. Maybe my volunteer job with start up soon, and that will give me something to do out of the house, besides going skiing (which I am enjoying immensely) or shopping (which I really shouldn’t keep doing)! So, although I feel sad, not knowing or suspecting that it’s coming is even worse, so in many ways, I feel better than I did on Thursday and Friday. Mostly, I just feel numb right now, like a shell. But I’m also very tired.

Anyways, that’s what’s new with me… wish it was good news, but it ain’t. Can’t always be sunshine. Hope you are all doing well! On the whole, I know I will be fine, I’m just adjusting… that’s all for now. Take care, everybody!

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One thought on “Toilet Paper

    Patricia said:
    January 8, 2007 at 11:27 pm

    Aw Ter, I wish I could be there to give you a hug. I am glad that you reached a decicion point, but am sad that that’s the decision it ended up being. I know that you know you’re capable of handling anything life throws at you, and I like your attitude that good will come of this too. You know I believe that things work out the way that they’re supposed to, even when we don’t LIKE how they’ve worked out, maybe sometimes that’s the point.

    I’m sorry the church doesn’t seem like an initial fit. Maybe you’ll get a better feeling about it next time. Or maybe you’d have better luck in Manning? Or even Peace River? It’s a long drive, but if you didn’t go EVERY week, the change of scenery might even be good for you. Just a thought…

    I wish I could help re: the “alone” thing. That’s something I don’t have any experience with. I tend to enjoy my time alone, but then that’s because generally I’ve choosen it when I *am* alone.

    Don’t discount the potential for friendship with married people. We like single people 😉 Busy or not, sometimes we married types enjoy time away from our lives too, with somebody who’s not a family member or inlaw. Know what I mean?? So if you know some smart funny women (or heck, *women*!) that you think you’d like to see more of, try suggesting a get-together, see what happens. You might get a better reception than you think.

    We should chat soon. I’ll try giving you a call one night this week. Hope the nasty weather we’re expecting here skips you guys!!!

    Love ya,

    Your big sis.

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