Every now and then when I’m cooking, I really feel like someone should reach out and stop me! I mean, if there is a God in heaven, where is He when I’m in the kitchen! Isn’t He supposed to intervene and prevent disasters from happening? Obviously not.
This morning (okay, it was afternoon, but morning for me), while I was still lying in bed, I made the first step towards disaster as I decided that I felt like having pancakes for breakfast. Not the typical restaurant-fluffy-sugar-encrusted pancakes, but thin ones, rolled up with cottage cheese filling. (I seem to be into foods that are rolled up lately, with my sushi-making craze… The sushi, however, is nowhere near as weird or frightening as what I created this morning!) Now this cottage cheese pancake may sound a bit odd to you, but it is a Ukrainian/German recipe, and with sour cream and salt and pepper on top, they are divine! So, it was with this plan that I dragged myself out of my too-comfortable bed and stumbled upstairs.
I gobbled down a little leftover egg-skillet stuff (one really shouldn’t use the word “stuff” when referring to food!) before I got started, just to get me through, ’til my cottage cheese wonders would be complete. I have made these pancakes before. This was supposed to be easy, or at least straight-forward. But no, oh no, it was not.
I had my second pancake gently frying in the pan when I realized that I had finished the cottage cheese one day last week. (Or maybe it was this week, but I keep thinking today is Tuesday, which it isn’t, but you get the point.) The key ingredient for the recipe was missing! Sure, you can substitute rice or soy milk for cow’s milk, or brown flour for white, but you cannot do anything to replace missing cottage cheese. Except look for a new filling, of course.
I raided the fridge and had my second frightening thought of the day – this could be an excellent way to use up leftovers! Just roll them in a pancake, no one will know! With a little sour cream on top, all sins are forgiven. (Don’t take that literally, it only applies to pancakes.) So, I found a little bit of fish paté (read: canned salmon with mayo added for sandwiches). That ought to work! Wait, it gets worse. Then I discovered some more leftovers… a bit of broccoli/mayo/onion paste that was serving as cracker dip a couple of days ago. By now, it was quite congealed, but if reheated, I thought, it would return to it’s former state of creamy goodness. For the third pancake, I thought I would just use more of the breakfast-skillet thing that I had already had a few bites of. After all, when you go to Denny’s (but never admit it) and get their Grand Slammer breakfast, there are eggs, pancakes, bacon and potatoes… exactly the ingredients in my rolled pancake improv. So, there you have it, 3 wonderful solutions to the missing cottage cheese.
Or so I thought.
The first was actually quite good – delectable, even – and was, surprisingly, even better with sour cream on it. (In my family, we sometimes say that sour cream makes everything better, but I wasn’t sure it was actually true. Now, I am sure.) I would not necessarily recommend sour cream on any other fish dishes, but then again, I am no cooking expert. Don’t listen to me.
The second one was so repulsive, horrific and traumatizing, I would not feed it to starving children in Africa! Especially not to starving children in Africa! Their poor young palates have never experienced good broccoli, never mind broccoli paste rolled in a thin, bland pancake! I’d scrape off the broccoli paste, run the pancake under a brisk stream of water and give the child the pancake to nibble on. They’d quite like it, I think.
The third filling was neither good nor bad, making it a resounding success for me! I wolfed it down. I wanted to make sure that I would be full and therefore not feel guilty for leaving the second one behind. I even left it on the kitchen table, quite confident that Eddie (the cat) would not disturb it. He’s obviously fussier than I am!
The moral of the story: It’s a dangerous thing to eat a meal that attempts to hide 3 different forms of leftovers. Although, if you have some sour cream, you’ll be okay.
Have a great day, everybody! 🙂