Forest Fire Danger Levels Explained

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Hi everybody! I decided to make my blogging more efficient, I would write my blog entries ahead of time, keep them in gmail until I am at the library and then just paste them into the blogger page. So, there you go! Always looking for better ways to do things!!

There’s quite a bit of talk at this time of year about the forest fire danger levels. I thought I would take a minute and explain the levels using common sense, easy-to-understand language.

Extreme: Leaf clutter and twig scatter is so dry that ordinary fire-starting methods (matches, lighters, and cigarette butts) can be effective (accidentally) from heights of 1500 AGL (above ground level). Sunlight reflecting off shiny objects, such as chrome bumpers of tractor-trailer trucks, can cause fires which become raging infernos threatening every house within 100 km in as little as 6.3 minutes. In campsites, fires are considered imminent wherever teenagers with parents are located. Teens are required to wear sunglasses at all times to protect the forest from their withering looks. Probability of accidental fire-starting: 100%

Very High: Normal fire-starting methods (matches, lighters, cigarette butts and scout stick-spinning) are dangerous in any wilderness area, including downtown High Level. Fires can grow quickly and against the wind, even if Stephen Harper is talking. All politicians are banned from parks and campsites to prevent fires lit in designated fire pits from burning all the way to Ottawa. Probability of accidental fire-starting: 80 – 100%

High: This level is considered the “normal” level for most of western Canada, except southern Alberta and Saskatchewan, where Extreme is normal. Normal fire-starting methods (matches, lighters, cigarette butts, scout stick-spinning and brown-bean flatulence) will be successful under normal conditions. Normal firewood will work quite well in camping applications. Abnormal fires, such as brush fires or ex-love-letter fires, should be lit with great caution. Teenagers and politicians should visit wilderness areas with great care, keeping sunglasses on and mouths, for the most part, shut. Probability of accidental fire-starting: 60 – 80%

Moderate: The forest is moist and healthy. Fires can only be started using good, dry firewood in fire pits specifically designed for this purpose. Fire-starting logs may be needed and/or the use of an entire box of matches and 3 or 4 National Posts or Globe and Mails. Macleans magazine will not burn, so don’t even try. Politicians are again allowed into parks and wildlife sanctuaries, should they choose to do so. However, with so little vacation, they many not have time to enjoy the great outdoors. Probability of accidental fire-starting: 40 – 60% (inversely proportion to the person’s IQ).

Low: Fires can only be started with the help of gasoline, diesel, oil or explosives. Plan your camping trip around Canada Day and use the cheap fireworks to ignite your fuel-soaked collection of National Geographics! Also plan to put your tent up on stilts, as the ground is likely to be so soft, you’ll think you’re sleeping on your BeautyRest back home. You will, however, wake up underground. Teenagers should be left at home, alone if necessary. Under no circumstances will wood burn, especially if intended for recreational purposes. Fire fighters, take your vacation now; go to the Bahamas. Politicians, talk your heads off, preferably near the explosives. Probability of accidental fire-starting: – 50%

That’s it! Have a good one, everybody! 🙂


One thought on “Forest Fire Danger Levels Explained

    Patricia said:
    June 16, 2006 at 6:45 pm

    This is GREAT! Love it. I assume this means you haven’t had the rain we’re having down here??!

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