assertive

Believing the Best

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fall trees hutch lakeThere’s no question that autumn is upon us. It’s been quite cool here – daily high temperatures are not always in the double digits anymore – and we’ve been having the low cloud and fog that is characteristic of this time of year. Meteorologically speaking, it’s caused by the cool air above relatively warm water, and as the water evaporates, it immediately condenses… but enough science-talk. It’s mesmerizing, and some days the fog makes me feel like I’m living in Ireland, ah, but without the ocean, the lovely people, and the greenery.  All of our leaves have changed colour and thanks to some gusty winds this week, many trees are even bare. I have missed a few beautiful scenes for a lack of camera, but I’ve stored them in my memory. Maybe sometime I’ll paint them. I can show you some pics I took 2 years ago.

We had a thick frost the other day, and I felt like digging in my heels and yelling “I’m not ready for this!” But, after a couple of days of brisk temps, I feel better. It’s amazing what a person can get used to, and how a slight change in attitude changes everything.

I was resting a little while ago, just thinking about events of the last few days. I’ve been a bit of a sh*t-disturber, or at best, very assertive. I stood up and spoke quite strongly at a local community consultation meeting about a decision our town council made recently. I was working with a group of other concerned citizens on a proposal, which the town shot down. We were shocked and not impressed. So I expressed that the best way I could, although I was quite tired and could have possibly done better. But I stood up and said something, which I hear is worth a lot (compared to the common Canadian way of complaining about things without ever addressing the people who could change it directly). In any case, it was stressful, my heart was pounding, but I guess it went okay.

My husband stood up and said a few things, too, but his spirit was quite different from mine as he spoke. He was a peacemaker, sometimes standing up to shed light on a situation, reminding people they can get involved, or thanking the town council for having the meeting. I’d say on the whole, he was more present and less-egoic than I was! (I blame being up too long, coming off of midnight shifts with only a 3 hour nap). :) Ah, just making excuses… sometimes being more tired makes me more present or gentle, but not that day.

fall beaver damI used to be a peacemaker; as the middle child, it was one of the roles in my family! Have I changed? Am I fundamentally different? Perhaps not; we have some sh*t-disturbing tendencies in my family… in a good way! I think I may have become more of a do-er – I get frustrated with talk-talk-talk and politicking. Let’s just jump in and do something about it! But I was like that in university too, so I guess I haven’t changed too much. I can certainly talk with the best of them, but before long, I need action! In any case, I would like to reconnect with the peacemaker in me (I know she’s still there) and only tip the boat when necessary.

The other thing I was thinking about just now as I was reflecting was how I need to keep believing the best. I’ve been a little jaded about things lately, and I don’t want to be. I want to, despite a few facts that might contradict, believe the best about people and situations around me. After all, there are 2 sides to everything, and I can choose to look at one side more than the other, and I choose the good. If Darren is slow to do the dishes, I still need to believe he will do them, rather than think that he’s stalling, trying to get me to do them, etc. Believe the best, right? So, this will be my mode of operating for the next while – and I’ll keep reminding myself if I need to (which of course I will)!

Have a great day everybody!