Getting Married September 21, 2008Posted by Teresa in Ponder This.
Tags: marriage, software, wedding
Many of you know I am engaged to be married, and my fiancee and I are just trying to nail down the date and figure out the details… it’s going to be a simple affair, that much we know, and we have a place and a minister to do the deed. He sent us the wedding ceremony that he usually uses as a template. So I was reading this the other day and pondering it. After I was done, it struck me — there are so many words! Words, words, words… words are no good if they don’t mean anything!! (I was married once before and so I have a little skeptical streak.) Besides, we don’t want this wedding to take all day; in fact, we are planning on doing it as part of a Sunday celebration service, similar to a baby dedication or other short ceremony that gets inserted some time after the music and before the sermon. So, in reading the script the minister sent, it just sounded way too long! Are all these words really necessary?!? I mean, we love each other deeply, want to be together always, and want to make it official. Can’t we just look into each other’s eyes, sigh, say yes, and be done? How much of the ceremony is added in to make it longer, so that people don’t sit back and say “I drove all the way from Saskatchewan for this?!? Five minutes?!?”
Well, that’s a bit silly I suppose! All those words really are lovely, and when you look at the meaning of them, they are truly beautiful. There is so much to say, and the vows are so deep… Sure, there is a bit of superfluous ceremony with the giving away of the bride and such, but the heart of the ceremony is profound. It suddenly hit me — getting married is not like installing software on your computer, where you hit “Accept” or “Next” or “OK” 3 or 4 times without bothering to read all the things you are agreeing to! Admit it, you don’t read all the fine print, do you?!? I usually don’t. When you get married, you have to know, to the absolute best of your ability, what you are getting in to!! You have to think long and hard about the commitment you are making, the agreement you are entering into. You’re not just accepting someone as being in your house, or in your life, you are agreeing to believe the best about them at all times… To be the best you can be, for that person… To see perfection… to share all parts of your self and your life with them! It is amazing, beautiful, and yes, words are necessary. They communicate the heart, and so they have the meaning that they need to have.
Excerpt from the ceremony:
“Will you, (woman) and you, (man), bring the very best that you are into this marriage for your own sake and for the sake of the other? (both reply: “I will.”)…
(Man), do you take (woman), whose hand you hold, choosing her alone to be your wedded wife? Do you promise to live with her, talk to her, love her, comfort her, work with her, play with her, honor her at all times and be faithful to her? (reply: “I do.”)…
“(man) repeat after me: (woman), I take you as my beloved wife and dearest friend. I promise to share my life openly with you, and to speak the truth to you in love. I promise to honor you and tenderly care for you. From this day forward, I promise to cherish you and to encourage your own fulfillment and peace through all the changes of our lives….”